Spider-Man senses the season of spring in the air

Squeeze another through the cheese grater, the season of spring is here. Birds chirping, sweat building and more and more skin as the clothes melt away into the impending summer.

For some, the ever present air of pollen whips up another furious round for the nostrils. Sneezing eyeballs, itchy fits and noses as hoses. Suffer the fools of hay fever, crippled as they are at the beat of nectar and mould raiding their nostrils and lungs.

Care for some useless tips on beating the hay fever? No? Here are some anyway:

• Stay indoors and don't breathe - when you avoid the cause of the problem the problem itself doesn't seem so much like a problem at all.
• Live under water - air and wind are known torrents for transporting pollen and other such nasties into the respiratory system. That kind of obstacle doesn't even factor in the underwater world.
• Vaseline - clug up the nose with wads of the petroleum jelly, the stickiness will latch on to anything that might try and tickle your tonsils.
• Walk with your eyes closed - prepare to buy a walking stick if this is even a viable option. (Also handy for people looking for impromptu guides around town or a faster path to wherever.)
• Be a misery to yourself - crying can help with the flushing of the foreign agents in your eyes and nose. So be like a loser and weep all day long.

 

Related topics:

• marvel select,
• spider man,
• health,
• crotch

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