"It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that!" - Moe Syzslak, The Simpsons.

Word filtered through that the write ups on the splash page -- which inevitably find themselves in the archives -- aren't exactly all that easy to understand. That and they supposedly don't make any sense. Well, that's no surprise really, sense is flung far out the window whenever the fingers start hitting the keyboard. Quite a mess when in the raw state and many arduous second thoughts are given to finally produce the copy that hits the site. That it's even read at all -- allegedly -- makes for quite a feat.

Right from the start, the Comic Shop was never going to regurgitate the copy of the comic book and merchandising companies. It was all about the fun, engaging and loopy times when reading a comicbook. Sure, while "engaging" might need as much work as "fun," at least loopy is there. And how.

And it was never going to be a straight up satire thing either. That stuff's a little too forced at the meat. What it then ends up as is a weird mixed combination and separation of both and all sorts of things. You have copy, you have satire, you have weirdness. Ultimately, you should have fun.

Take an image, concoct a balls-out-the-window story.

Let sense find its own way. Eventually.

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Thought about casting a paper vote for the Wizard fan awards to be held in some convention later in the year over in Los Angeles. It's like any other survey, only without as many questions or a section for identification. Since the deadline for final ballots is March, kept coming back and looking at the form, thinking about whether or not to just send it in, casting the votes into the pool. Throwing away another gold coin for postage was the deal breaker there. So it's a good thing that they at least they have an online version of the fan ballot, even though filling in an online form/ballot/survey is cold.


Writer: Joss Whedon (Astonishing X-Men)
Smooth flowing dialogue, clear understanding of their dynamic and the mutants are cracking wise.

Penciller: Jim Lee (Superman)
Superheroes done with muscles in a way that makes them still look like they could run around the place. And the legs of his women still go up to the neck.

Inker: Scott Hanna (Ultimate Spider-Man)
No sense of clutter, no overbearing weight, light and fun like the comic itself should be.

Painter: David Mack (Kabuki)
Beautiful stuff this guy does, a style that isn't overtly sexual or even tensed. Soft and relaxed come to mind.

Colourist: Dave Stewart (Daredevil, Conan)
Taking it from Conan, it's murky, a little dirty and sort of wants to make itself smell a little regal for effect.

Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos (Astonishing X-Men)
It's like the letters keep on shrinking and everyone's whispering these jokes under their breath.

Editor: Ralph Macchio (Ultimate titles)
Of the choices offered, Macchio seems to have a handle on what's going on with the Ultimate line.

Male hero: Conan (Dark Horse)
Here we go, the sword wielding barbarian has come back from the wilderness and surprisingly isn't bashing in heads all the time.

Female hero: Kitty Pryde (Marvel)
Buffy.

Villain: Bomber (Ex Machina)
Now this was something good. An ordinary joe running about the snowy streets blowing them trucks up. The mystery of it all adding much to the monthly chase.

Supporting character: Nick Fury (Secret War, Astonishing X-Men)
Haven't seen this guy for a while, and when he does turn up he's still breaking balls.

Ongoing series: Astonishing X-Men (Marvel)
Over in some other article it'll be explained that the reconnect with the X-Men was pretty quick. Like coming in from the cold and already feeling the warmth.

Action figure line: Batman: Hush (DC Direct)
These are sort of like McFarlane toys, nice to look at from their box/blister, but playing with them outside is something else. Check out the left leg on Poison Ivy if you get the chance.

Movie project: Spider-Man 2 (Sony)
A whole lot more emotion as well as action. Funnier too. J. Jonah Jameson still rocks the show.

Greatest moment of 2004: Bone One Volume Edition
Have you seen the size of this monster? That's a moment right there.

TV show
Didn't get to watch much, if any, comic related TV shows during the entirety of 2004. In fact, none at all. And when was the last time Smallville was on Ch9? That must have been early to mid 2003.

DVD release & Video game
Outside of that Blade double pack and NFS: Underground 2, nothing.

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Running up and alongside the new volume of The Ultimates (with Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch at the helm), a black and white variant was on the table at a 50/50 split. Concerns over the possibility of retailers being left with the uncoloured version on their shelves saw that ratio switched out to 1/10.

The standard full colour version was just like any other Marvel comic. The variant, however, featured no lettering and instead the raw inks (or pencils, I'm not too sure), with the script at the back. Or part of. They hardly do the full on a single issue.

So anyway, Hart, a long time customer, was among the few to be offered the variant along with the normal version. Saying, "No, thanks" would have been easy. Buying that over the regular or buying both would have been okay. Neither of these happened. Instead, deliberation.

Weeks of.

It's a hard decision: go both or the variant interior to the normal. Buy only that, and the story's a little punctured following on. Buy both, and that's another comic not being tested.

What would you do?

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