John Falsworth, born into an Victorian Era aristocracy only to wind up with a nasty gash on his neck and immortal life. All after meeting with a bloke they call Dracula. For blue vein cheese, it's no mean leap to Baron Blood. Really all about the posturing in life, socially more than anything else.

Falsworth has the chops and mad skillz as it were, negotiating the devilled waters of hoi polloi and riff raff to know that his place is lording it over the cheese and cracker nibbling set.

Despite the big fangs, (all the more better to uncork a wine bottle with), life can still be as sweet as the nectar from licking clean a silver platter. Keeping in mind a few simple things:

• Smiling is over rated
• As is looking at your own reflection
• No parties really happen until the sun is down
• Garlic can be substituted in all your meals. Even garlic bread
• Religion isn't for everyone

 

Undeniable is the fact that the Moon, Earth's only and lonely satellite, is made entirely out of cheese. Another is that there are more than the few standard type of cheese to sit above crackers, salted or unsalted as they may be.

For the connoisseur, life in a damp basement growing home-brew mould only goes so far for the flavour country other types of cheese can offer. With a few kegs kicking in the background, and with more than a few skin types dangling from the ceiling rafters, there exists a whole cheesy world of funky chunky cracker spreads.

Limburger - no, not the fat guy from Biker Mice From Mars, but that cheese the Looney Tunes were all up sniffing harder than a line by Kate Moss. Powerful, pungent stuff, that cheese. Crackers alone will not stand up to the task. Think about something equally strong on this combination. Like socks or sweaty armpits.

Toejam and Earl - forget the game. Remember the name. If someone's offering you some cheese and they have no packets, blocks or any such plate with them, run. Run like the simile in the next point.

Cheese in a can - for the more adventurous, or even for those with far less a palette than finger painters. This concoction of mustard yellow snot driveling from a nozzle looks and tastes anything but cheese. As smooth as a bag of dates, the experience can be yours for as long as the can doesn't rust. Years from the fact.

 

 

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Stuff we sell along the shelves like statues to action figures and busts to all things Simpsons. T-shirts, head knockers... not to mention the bags, boards and boxes.

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Geezer at the guts of the shop.

 

 

 

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