Dog biscuits look so enticing don't they? Nicely shaped with a crunch that looks like it delivers a solid chomp. Even available in varieties where chewing and eating on these canine gut destined foods and such will clean the teeth. And what about those with the jerky?

Taking a bag of dog food to snack on at some sporting event, or even that of the cinema, not so enticing after all. Especially taste wise. And there is never enough cat food around to wash out the flavour of chowing down into a handful of dog biscuits on hand.

Wonder what then was in those Scooby snacks that Shaggy and his pal Scooby Doo were always mowing down.

Feed a dog any kind of dog food made for them and they should be right, in moderation. But some chocolate on that and watch them go to the vet. It's like watching them eat a pool of coins, shiny and coated in their own sort of evil. Unlike popping the coins into a Scooby Doo bobble bank. Do that and wait for what comes out the other side. No gloves needed.

 

Not like body image isn't an issue with a lot of teens and adults from the physiques they see staring back at them from the covers and pages of magazines. If chicken fillets are for woman, then surely steaks are for the males.

Both, if defrosted well and long enough from the chests, will provide a nice dinner time meal as the day draws close. It's more than just looking good, it's eating good too.

Other things to do with chest enhancement modules when the day is done: feeding said fillets and steaks to the pets as they wait for you to come home. Fish might have trouble digesting, as well as spiders.

For the more insect driven folks, a nice solid attractant for maggots and blow flies when cast out over the mailbox in the back yard. Yes, some people have mail boxes in their back yards.

Not every one will have the need for chest implants though. Some just wear suits with enough padding left over from the shoulders of the 1980s to make do without the meat.

 

Purple, rotund and always with a grand flashing smile across his dial. Grimace (Shaky to the Brazilians) is one of the few remaining mascots of McDonald's to survive the various culls and cutbacks over the years. Uncle O'Grimacey, Mayor McCheese, Mac Tonight, Big Mac, when was the last time they were around?

Back onto the purple blob of glob, Grimace, Ronald McDonald's best pally pal in the whole wide world. But what is he exactly? It's the question of the ages.

Milkshake - which in that case would make it a rather sickly looking concoction of cream, milk and eggplant. Or whatever it is that makes the food purple but not blue in hue.

Taste bud - a massive sweet-licking representation of the taste sensation that supposedly comes from Big Red. At a time before the health conscious set in with wraps, salads and lower-fat fries.

Stool - classic rebellion of the other mascot line, instead of looking or resembling the kind of things that people would eat, a visage/symbol of the kind of thing to pass. Most suspect is what would leave such a coloured dollop.

Whatever he is, from the longevity his actual being, looks like nothing can kill The Grimace.

(Do you think he's a pickle that's gone a little too long on the shelf?)

 

Start it off and kick a day into Action Jackson gear with the right stuff. Breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day. For some, it's the second meal after waking up, most others the first.

When you're a zombie, there's one thing that will bring up the undead in you like a worm burrowing through. Brains.

Or more precisely, braaaiiins. Juicy, soft and made up entirely of that grey matter, a brain is the life food of the undead and zombies.

Tough to crack, the skull is the shell that holds this most delicate of delicacies. Work it and you'll have yourself a feast for the day that will power you up lugging your left leg down the street with all the energy you'll need.

At least until the next time you sniff a synapse.

 

Two non-refundable, non-transferable, inedible points on the reference.

Paper, for that added roughage in the gruel and porridge bowls, is quite the tough matter to masticate. Colour, though, tastes far better than the black and white variety. Watch out for the gloss, that's like liking a ball of wax.

This is a truly unique 3 GEEKS comic book experience! "Jim's Jerky" is a boutique-sized, full-color comic that actually comes with a real piece of Beef Jerky! Unprecedented in comic book history as far as we know.

"Jim's Jerky" is the story about Jim's uncanny knack with all things meat and butcher shop related. It seems Jim has tinkered with his boss' sausage recipes and, initially, Helmut is not too happy, but upon realizing Jim has actually improved his product gets behind Jim and funds his quest for very rare ingredients. Mayhem and hilarious hijinx follow. The result?...Some darn good tasting Jerky!

Jim's Jerky from 3 Finger Publications.

Tony Lee, Shanth Enjeti and Jimmy Reyes lock and load in Starship Troopers: Damaged Justice from Markosia. From the cursory looks of things, they be talking of credit and ranks.

From ASP Comics and Hub, just Hub, Okko: The Cycle of Water. A ronin, who heads a group of demon hunters, journeys with a giant and a monk. When a fisherman's sister is nabbed by pirates, the quest is on to save her. No mention of zombies, vampires or mutants.

Down from Devil's Due Publishing, Tim Seeley, Nate Bellegarde and Mark Englert go hard and slashy like in Hack/Slash: Slice Hard.

Top Cow and Marvel Comics get the tea on with a boiling of the green leaves as Ripclaw and Cyblade cross paths with Wolverine and Psylocke in Cyberforce/X-Men. Ron Marz and Pat Lee work the duties and it's a wonder how Wolvie manages to keep his time in the Big M Universe let alone jumping around with the Moo.

Dan Wickline and Alex Sanchez go 30 Days of Night: Spreading the Disease from IDW Publishing and ponder, why did they send them vampires off into space? Oh fangy, why?

Bad Press and Daniel Way say Bye-Bye Harvey: A Gun Theory Short Story. The prequel to what came about as a chopped down story of a hitman so cool, so professional, you didn't even know he was a cleaner. But every one has a story to tell...

 

Next to copping an eyeful of the sea of people rush around during the Christmas shopping season, and especially in the final days to December 25, the food at which tables and benches will sport and feast for the days ahead comes next as the thing to watch.

Namely that at which speed the food disappears from the table itself. Mostly due over the course of a simple gathering and meal for the holidays. Fifty chews or so and down the gullet the food will go. The majority with a careful pace and those who have yet to train as competitive food eaters.

And there are those who will forego any sense of moderation and make sure that there are no leftovers on Boxing Day. It's those people you should watch out for lest they finish of their meals and yours with a nice after-dinner mint.

Unlike packets of gum or boxes of toothbrushes, it's possible to have too much of a good thing. No matter how great the sauce, remember to slow down and take your time.

Merry Christmas and take plenty of rests between the eating sessions.

 

 

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