"Imagine a real world with mutations all around us, these people would be the new minority group. They would have all the crappy jobs -- the kind of stuff we "normal" people wouldn’t want to do. So these people would be the plumbers, the doormen, taxi drivers... you get the idea. So where can a monster go and get a little respect?

The movies.

Heck, monsters have been working in the movies for decades. But now the monsters aren't made, they are regular folks. They just have an affliction -- something that makes them look a little different from you and me. And that’s our story. These guys want their piece of the pie. They're moving on up, but not up to a deluxe apartment in the sky. They want to head out West, to the land of make believe... Hollywood California."

- artist Tone Rodriguez on Urban Monsters #1 (of 3) from Image Comics

Other comics to eyeball this week

Annja Creed jumps the mediums with Barbara Kesel and Renae De Liz to find trouble around a dig on Samuel Clemens in Rogue Angel: Teller of Tall Tales. Dig for it in the "R" titles of the far wall when you walk in the shop.

Got Bone? Jeff Smith returns to creating wholly in his own juice squirts with RASL. Dimension hopping art thief made of one half zen, one half user and abuser of the seedy sports in life. Look for this in black and white in the "R" titles of the far wall also.

Warren Ellis, Mike Wolfer and Raulo Caceres bring back the "Strange Kiss" world in Gravel. William Gravel gets messy in the magic part of his world and piles up the shell casings like spent waffle from the iron, dripping with syrup and looking to wrap those arteries up well and good. Shoot a look for this one in the "G" spot of the far wall.

Chad Lambert, Chad Hardin and Jake Bilbao squeeze between the cheeks of the two games (both being "groundbreaking" that there's nothing left to stand on but sand) of the franchise to slot in BloodRayne: Prime Cuts. Cup a "B" section of the comics wall.

Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips are back with more Criminal in Criminal 2. Thicker with more stuff to read and peel your lime-ridden eyeballs over. Second chance in hell they call it. And the title of it too. Yes, this line is largely redundant. In the "C" section of the Marvel comics side.

Didn't like the do of the second Terminator sequel? Then rejoice with apprehension as the familiar name of the director takes to comics in Jonathan Mostow's The Megas. Apparently, it's not the one about the cartoon. Who knows what the solicit is talking about. Right near the horror statues and busts cabinet with the rest of the Virgin Comics, you'll spot this.

When you see Mark Millar and a title with unrecognisable characters, you know it's part of his Millarworld project. Kick-Ass is no different. John Romita Jr on with the board on this and the cover of the first issue looks like a bloody punch indeed. Gloves not so bad for getting blood off the hands then. Find this one in the Marvel section with the "K."


 

Purple, rotund and always with a grand flashing smile across his dial. Grimace (Shaky to the Brazilians) is one of the few remaining mascots of McDonald's to survive the various culls and cutbacks over the years. Uncle O'Grimacey, Mayor McCheese, Mac Tonight, Big Mac, when was the last time they were around?

Back onto the purple blob of glob, Grimace, Ronald McDonald's best pally pal in the whole wide world. But what is he exactly? It's the question of the ages.

Milkshake - which in that case would make it a rather sickly looking concoction of cream, milk and eggplant. Or whatever it is that makes the food purple but not blue in hue.

Taste bud - a massive sweet-licking representation of the taste sensation that supposedly comes from Big Red. At a time before the health conscious set in with wraps, salads and lower-fat fries.

Stool - classic rebellion of the other mascot line, instead of looking or resembling the kind of things that people would eat, a visage/symbol of the kind of thing to pass. Most suspect is what would leave such a coloured dollop.

Whatever he is, from the longevity his actual being, looks like nothing can kill The Grimace.

(Do you think he's a pickle that's gone a little too long on the shelf?)

 

Run a finger along most any surface, and barring a barb from a splinter, it's likely to drum up more than a speckle of dust. Nothing is forever clean save for the swimmers in the pool of bleach. Extremes, though, and not every one can afford such expenses.

You think your job is bad?

Doug and Manny have you beat! These guys are janitors! But they're not your typical custodial crew--no, sir! They're the guys who keep things shiny and clean at TerroMax, Inc., the world’s biggest and best evil science think tank! When they're not dealing with toxic spill monsters and talking mansharks, they still have to worry about mad scientists, crazy would-be dictators, and the cute girl who works at reception!

Fresh talent Jim Massey and Robbi Rodriguez have created the funniest, most outlandish Oni Press series since BARRY WEEN!

Maintenance #1 from Oni Press

Laying more than the smack down in the current spoils of Marvel's Civil War, Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev and Gabrielle Dell'Otto jump for a flashback to New Avengers Illuminati. Where all the action of mind games, alliances and secrets melted in eclairs made of deception are made.

Ready, steady, new year's heady with Criminal Macabre: Two Red Eyes from Dark Horse. Steve Niles and Kyle Hotz cover the new beat of Cal McDonald as he makes a way into a new town with an old horror bogie.

Jeff Parker and Ashish Padlekar take a bit of Eurythmics with them as they flow through Dave Stewart's Walk In. From Virgin Comics, the Earth is a penal colony for an alien species. No, not humans, some other aliens. And it starts to feel a little trippy for one prisoner.

Fusion cooking don't get no better than when The Bakers Meet Jingle Belle. Dark Horse snap that sleigh ride as Paul Dini and Kyle Baker present one major misfortunate tale of the holidays.

 

Throw a bunch of monsters into a room together and they're bound to form a squad looking to front other monsters and ghoulies. Right? After all, though gravity won't get you high, it will work in mysterious ways of the paranormal. And if the party was rockin' out the first time, the after party might be even better.

They're BACK! Still glowing from the heat of their first mind-numbing miniseries, those prowlers of the paranormal--The PERHAPANAUTS--are back to confront more creepy cryptozoological creatures and extradimensional entities! (No, the fact that the team is mostly made up of the same mythic monsters isn't lost on us...)

A Bigfoot, a chupacabra, a ghost, and a psychic, all agents for the enigmatic BEDLAM (Bureau of Extra-Dimensional Liabilities and Management), tear it up as they continue the fight to keep us safe from the unseen horrors in our closets and the things that go bump in the night!

Don't miss out! Join The Perhapanauts as they delve into the mysteries of the unknown and the unexplained and answer questions like why there're more lines on your left palm than on your right! Order yours today! (Also, stop looking at your hand.)

Perhapanauts Second Chances #1 (Of 4)

Don Figueroa and Bob Budiansky trip down transforming robot memory lane as with Transformers Animated Movie Adaptation. Four parts from IDW Publishing that throws in extra sparks and touches for the fans.

Four fangs on Impaler from Image Comics. William Harms, Nick Postic and Nick Marinkovich unleash a bloody tale of vampires where if you're lucky, you could end up as a victim. Read the first issue to find out what and be disappointed that it may only be open to the Yanks.

Forget something in the DCU with all that One Year Later gear? Well, Grant Morrison and J.H. Williams are here with the long awaited Seven Soldiers of Victory finally coming to the battle front. How many question marks can you fit on a keyboard?

Oh hello Halloween, are you eating pumpkin today? Michael Angelos, Jerry Beck and Tony Bledsoe resurrect one Jack Corby for Jack The Lantern: Ghosts. A war of the soul from Castle Rain Entertainment. Yes, will you be requiring sauce on that wedge?

Brian Pulido and Gabriel Guzman go battletastic with Lady Death Vs War Angel. A one shot from Avatar Press. It gets cold standing around in a bucket of ice cubes.

Richard Hatch in any form is any form of Hatch goodness, so on the hot trail of the new comes Classic Battlestar Galactica from Dynamite Entertainment. Rick Remender and Carlos Rafael dodging the Cylons with the crew.

All the planet's a stage with the Worldstorm from Wildstorm Comics continuing as Deathblow returns from a death blow. Brian Azzarello and Carlos D'Anda picking at the lock that sets the man free on his quest to discover himself over a trail of corpses ready to be made.

 

Hands up in the air in surrender in the grasp of the Mole Man's subterranean monster. Sue Richards, aka the Invisible Woman, is shocked into glass with an overall look of fear.

Fear not for the impending doom upon her life, nor of the destruction of the city in this replication of Fantastic Four #1. No, look closely. Look at the monstrous hands of the monster holding Sue.

Who knows where those hands have been? Especially given that while under the employ of the Mole Man, the environment for work is not known for much lighting. Indeed, with all the dirt and grim under the belly of the city, hygiene may be one of the furthest things from the mind.

Eating one of the members of the Fantastic Four may be out of the question. Better to die beaten to death at the hands of a family of super heroes than by ingesting a handful of natty fingernail bacteria.

 

 

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