John Falsworth, born into an Victorian Era aristocracy only to wind up with a nasty gash on his neck and immortal life. All after meeting with a bloke they call Dracula. For blue vein cheese, it's no mean leap to Baron Blood. Really all about the posturing in life, socially more than anything else.

Falsworth has the chops and mad skillz as it were, negotiating the devilled waters of hoi polloi and riff raff to know that his place is lording it over the cheese and cracker nibbling set.

Despite the big fangs, (all the more better to uncork a wine bottle with), life can still be as sweet as the nectar from licking clean a silver platter. Keeping in mind a few simple things:

• Smiling is over rated
• As is looking at your own reflection
• No parties really happen until the sun is down
• Garlic can be substituted in all your meals. Even garlic bread
• Religion isn't for everyone

 

Put on a show and lick them lips, there's more to the gloss than sheer anticipation.

And so it may very well be the case, that the fleshy gates ahead of the teeth will greet many into the world of the tongue, the uvula and the oesophagus. They being food items and other such items of drink to pass through of course.

Be a generous and good looking host; keep the lips looking nice and clean like the carpet runners people walk across in order to find the back wall. Or just make do in the illusion of.

Lip balm and gloss - Flavour country never tasted so berrylicious. Or bananalicious. Or whateverlicious it happens to be at the counter. Thin layer of lip balm is good for the look of health and great tasting too.

Raging red lipstick - Throw in a dazzle as the curve of the colour blinds all unsuspecting of what ever cracked landscape may lie underneath. Taste varies wildly and more often than not, a bit tougher to stain away from the teeth.

Spit and saliva - Too cheap to buy gloss and too much of a non-lipsticker to apply the ruby? Constantly licking the lips, as in perhaps preparation for fried chicken, will suffice for most in keeping the kissers whistling moist.

 

Take the strain as there's nothing like the grimace of someone as you walk through that door and realise that, yes, it is engaged and they're on the way to drop another. Face of the nation atop the throne of the house taking its dues.

Grin and bear it like the lungs need to feel it.

Frank Castle is back in the Marvel Universe and unlike others who've tip-toed the line between anti and pro-registration, Frank is diving right into the Civil War starting in the all-new ongoing series Punisher War Journal #1. Frank's not likely to have second thoughts about his role: those who deserve punishment will pay... and the sentence is death.

First up on the list: Stilt-Man! Wilbur Day, more commonly known as Stilt-Man, might not be a heavy hitter, but it doesn't matter who you are, if you cross Frank Castle you're done for. Take note true believers, Frank isn't going soft just because he's back in the Marvel Universe; expect blood and lots of it.

Written by Matt Fraction with Young Guns: Reloaded artist Ariel Olivetti, Punisher War Journal ties directly into Civil War #5 and guarantees to change the tide of the war. What is Frank's plan? How will he affect this war? Only he knows and we're too scared to ask!

Punisher: War Journal #1 - Marvel Comics

Coming to a New Years that's yet to happen, IDW Publishing with Angel: Auld Lang Syne. Scott Tipton and David Messina face with Angel and Spike to spot some old ghosts and faces that just won't die.

Split that DC bulls eye six ways with Connor Hawke: Dragon's Blood. Chuck Dixon and Derec Donovan head off with Connor Hawke for what starts out to be a simple archery contest. And from there the solicit info jumps into the underwear drawer.

Certainly not the stuff for all ages, C.B. Cebulski and Sana Takeda takes on ninjas and vampires in Drain. From Image Comics, it's a tale of centuries with a ninja vampire out for revenge.

For those who missed the first step in the adaptation of Laurell K. Hamilton's novels, and there were a few, Dabel Brothers are on the trail with Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Guilty Pleasures. Twelve steps to the end and on the path to bringing in the rogue vampires, Stacie M. Ritchie and Brett Booth are on the case.

Katana blades, zombies, and a whole bunch of other refugees in Zombies: Eclipse Of the Undead. El Torres, Yair Herrera with another IDW title that doesn't link well from their own site.

In a solicit that has way too many exclamation marks, Keith Giffen, J.M. DeMatteis and Julia Bax present lessons three in Planetary Brigade Origins New School. Boom! Studios holding the session where things come and go in the span of a chuckle or two.

Names are dripping all over the Red Menace from Wildstorm Comics. Six issues to hold names such as Jerry Ordway, Al Vey, Paul DeMeo, Danny Bilson and Adam Brody. That's right, two of the last three are connected to The O.C. It's 1953 and the fear of Communism with no cigars is rife in the USA. More red clothes!

IDW Publishing take a step back before the tick-tick-ticking of that clock that never comes or runs into a 1 in 24: Nightfall. J.K. Vaughn, Mark L. Haynes and Jean Diaz take it and do it in six. Like an old style clock. Real old-style, like one that never existed.

The Experts are here and they're from Near Mint Press. Kenn Minter and Clarence Pruitt look to tongue an indy loving purchase with a short order of misfits looking to earn some quick cash. You probably won't see this on the shelf too long, it's a strange one that orders this...

 

Choppers like carrots wouldn't believe, it's Bugs Bunny at the baseball against the Gorillas from the classic "Baseball Bugs" episode of Looney Tunes.

Seventh inning, bases partially loaded and the wick of sweat rides the seams of the ball in the pitcher's glove. Night time and the sun is still out. Pitcher cranks it back, eyeing the third and second. The pitch and the batter swings. A screwball coming out of a fast and it connects... up, up and away...

Of course, if it happens that the ball smacks back a line into the mouth of the pitcher, that could leave a very bad smile in no time. Knocking it out of the park or knocking the teeth of the mouth... with teeth like Bugs, it's a hazard to play any game where the teeth are out in front.

In case of emergency, and if the teeth are out of the pocket by looseness or being broken, it's a vital step that the tooth in question remains moist. Drop it in a glass of milk, water or carry it to the dentist inside the cheeks. Of the mouth. Remember that it's important to not let it dry out.

 

When not in his calm alter ego state as super genius scientist, Bruce Banner, the rampaging Hulk is otherwise known as Jade Jaws. The teeth, in most portrayals, is of a green hue. Other times it's just plain with a tinge of off white. Still others are Juicy Fruit white, sparkling with Mr Fixit. charm.

Nevertheless, the topic at hand here is trying to find a quick and hopefully temporary look of having your very own set of green choppers.

One very easy and sugary method is chomping down on a green flavoured (they might call it lime) ice block. Freezing the brain, the dye in the ice will not only leave the teeth showing a hint of green, but the tongue will sport a glorious gangly tinge for the effort.

Eating shrubs of leafy greens such as parsley and broccoli might also help in the efforts. Though, that will more than likely only end up as chunks between the gums and teeth than making the enamel a little green. Careful on chomping away at the asparagus though, the toilet will bear fruit of such heavy consumption.

 

Scarface all set with nice set of choppers
Tony Montana from Scarface imparts some sage advice: "What'd I try to tell you? In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."

Simple power dynamics. Move up from one echelon to another and the results will open up more doors. For the socially conscious, all this stops dead behind teeth and a smile enough to make a crocodile eat a small child in halves.

Nice and pearly white, like a set of PKs or Juicy Fruits, a set of good healthy teeth goes a long way. More so than just as a good turn on the second hand market for pure enamel made dentures.

Nothing can hide the shine that comes from a broad smile flashing more than those men hanging in the park in trench coats.

"Say hello to my little friend"

 

 

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